J.M.

BACKGROUND

We use the parties’ first names to simplify and humanize our opinion in this intensely contested custody case. (In re Marriage of Smith (1990) 225 Cal.App.3d 469, 475, fn. 1.) J.M. (Jonathan) and G.H., an Israeli citizen, met in 1996 and soon were living together. They never married. When G. gave birth to Joey in September 2005, Jonathan signed a voluntary declaration of paternity and the birth certificate. The couple separated in late 2007, when Joey was two, and Jonathan moved into another house in the summer of 2008, while G. and Joey were in Israel visiting G.’s family. In July 2008 Jonathan married Michelle H., and lives with her and her son, his stepson Ryan. Before Michelle H., Jonathan had been married to three other women, and Jonathan has three adult children from two of those earlier marriages. In July 2009, when Joey was nearly four, Jonathan filed a petition to establish his paternity of Joey, requesting joint legal and physical custody and reasonable visitation. In October 2009, he filed an order to show cause requesting sole legal custody and shared physical custody (with primary custody to him), after G. and Joey returned from a summer 2009 trip to…